I don’t mind buying stuff I need, but when a clerk charges me for something I didn’t ask for…that’s just wrong! I needed a couple of replacement bulbs for my car and decided to try AutoZone for the first time. I was impressed by how quickly I was greeted as I walked in the door and the guy grabbed the bulbs I needed in 10 seconds. When I got to the register he threw a tiny foil packet on the counter. “Do you know about bulb grease?” I told him I didn’t and he instructed me to to just put a tiny bit on the base of each bulb, and even a little on the socket. He said it’ll help keep the contacts dry. Wow, how helpful! I went out into the parking lot and stuck the two bulbs in, smearing a little of the magic bulb grease on the contacts.

I came home and told my wife that AutoZone may be my new place for parts….they were sooooo helpful. That help, it turns out, cost me $1.41, with tax. The little packet of grease, that sounded like, and looked like, a sample, actually cost me $1.41. I didn’t realize it until I got home and looked at the receipt. A quick call to my local AutoZone led to an explanation about how helpful bulb grease is. I told him that helpful has nothing to do with it…I wasn’t told I was being charged for it. I explained that I never, ever, used the product before and it was presented to me like it was being thrown in as a freebie. He explained, again, how good it is. I told him I was calling corporate and he asked me to hold on, while he got the number for me. What I got, instead, was the manager. He sounded surprised that nobody told me I was being charged for the bulb grease. He told me to come in and he’ll refund my money, even though I already used the product.

I did a search online (autozone bulb grease) and found a lot of people debating the qualities and necessity of bulb grease, and a number of people who complained that, like me, they didn’t know they were being charged for it at AutoZone. Upselling is fine, I guess, but McDonald’s never super sized my fries without making it very clear that I was paying for it. It also amazes me that the .14 ounce packet of this miracle substance actually works out to $74 per 8 ounces! I could buy 3/4 of a barrel of oil from OPEC for that! As for me, I know I’ll be heading over to AutoZone in the near future. No, I won’t be buying anything there, I’m just getting my slippery refund.